Going Home!!!

The pain is controlled. The swelling has gone down. And, quite frankly, she doesn't look like a person who had brain surgery just five days ago. So it is time to go home. Home to our house, our kitty, and our comfy bed. YES! 

Now if I can just get caught up on my sleep.

Ripples of Compassion

Finally, after a series of sleepless nights, both April and I got in almost a good eight solid hours. One good thing leads to another so late this morning we decided a bath was in order. This, of course, was something that needed to be accomplished with the help of at least three others. An hour later, clean and ensconced in her own comfortable clothing for the first time in four days - she fell back into bed and back to sleep in the middle of telling me how good she felt.

One of the doc's Nurse Practitioners congratulated us this morning on preparing well for the worst and then getting the best we could hope for. But none of the things we have accomplished over the last five months has been on our own. And it is not just the highly trained professional medical team that has made the difference. Even scientific researchers will tell you that their precious science has it's serious imitations and that favorable outcomes can not be entirely quantified. April has worked hard to have a positive attitude in the face of serious illness and the threat of loosing her faculties. Good nutritious food and a serene environment have added to the healing. And that is not all. Hundreds, dare I say, thousands of prayers have been said by almost as many people as a network of prayer groups and lists was built with the help of emails and Facebook. Friends and family have stepped up and given their time, energy, and money to help. 

The response by so many to the needs of my girl has been somewhat overwhelming. When it comes to others helping me, I have often had difficulty accepting. But, in this instance, it has became apparent that not only were April and I effected favorably by this generosity - those giving were also. My thoughts turned to how good it felt to save our little black and white kitty just a few short weeks ago and too see pictures of her now in her new home thriving and happy. How helping another being and giving of myself helped me get closer to balance and equilibrium in my life. How things moved into a clearer perspective. How having compassion for another being helped lift me from my realms of suffering and helped me comprehend the ripple effects of one single act of compassion. Now, as our best case scenario gets underway, I have begun thinking -  I need a "pay it forward" plan.  I need to learn more about working with this "compassion effect".

How might this might play out, don't know. But I do know that within this less than desirable life event I have been given an opportunity -  to keep the compassion effect moving in my life and growing in the lives of others.

I believe I have accepted the challenge.

One Foot In Front of the Other

Today was a series of steps toward recovery and a busy day. April was unhooked from a set of IV lines, every imaginable monitor, and other assorted assistant devices. After a very restless night, during which she tried several times to untether herself, I was glad to see this happen. Though she has been able to get up and walk five to ten feet with assistance, she is unbelievably tired from this effort, though also heartened by the fact that she can indeed do it. Her pain seems to finally be controlled so I have also been busy - napping. I have a whole lot to catch up on and since I am not aided by drugs, I must settle down enough to do it on my own. Finally, today, the stars have aligned and I have been busy taking every opportunity to catch up on my Z.z.z.z.z's. As I make this entry, I am pushing myself to stay awake until at least 8:30 when April will get her evening dose of Vicodin and I can hope to sleep at least five uninterrupted hours.

Ah...the healing begins.

A Bumpy Road

This has been a day of ups and downs. Lots of bumps in the road.

April and I love to travel and, when you like travel and you like beaches, flying becomes almost a necessity. We do it but we are not good at it and we really don't like it. I can tolerate the cruising part but take-off and landing, especially landing, can send me into a bit of a loosely controlled panic. We have this little landing game. I close my eyes while April watches out the window and sings one of her original event specific songs. This one is about riding in an old pick-up along a bumpy country road. It's silly, but we are silly, and being silly really does help.

This has been a serious surgery. About as serious as you can get. There is no silly here. Try to imagine having your brain and sinuses messed around with for four hours. There is lots of pain, disorientation, and it is difficult to breath and swallow. Medication makes the pain bearable but your head and stomach feel like you have been riding a roller coaster all day. Just sitting up for a minute or two and drinking water is exhausting.

Right now my job is to take notes on medications and the information imparted by doctors and nurses. To make sure she is drinking and that the pain is controlled. Tomorrow there will be some procedures: an MRI, removal of bandages and nasal packing. Maybe even getting her up from bed so see if she is able to stand. I sleep when I can and try to remember to eat.

Maybe the time will come for me to sing the bumpy road song - but not yet. For now I hover and I keep  the pay-off in sight. This may be a long bumpy road but HOPE is in the back seat cheering us on and we are well on our way.

Post Surgery Day #1

I was so excited to see April for the first time after surgery late last night. She looked amazeingly well considering the seriousness of the surgery.  I shared with her the news that surgery went well and her outlook is very optimistic. The docs both confirmed that information with her this morning and she is so happy. Yesterday before going into surgery she asked me not to cry later when I saw her. Well, guess who was doing all the crying during that conversation - all I have to say is she started it!

She had a few rough spots with pain last night and early this morning. I have been at the hospital with her for the duration and have had very little sleep in the past three days. But I am glad I stayed with her to help get the pain meds regulated so that she could rest. She will be mostly sleeping for the rest of the day and part of tomorrow but they may start getting her up and around later in the afternoon.

Those of you who know April well know that she is a very proud and pretty tough. In fact her Neurosurgeon, Dr. Vates, calls her a "tough broad".  She is not bothered by this in the least. In fact, she revels in it.  Dispite her toughness, she can also be quite senstive. She has a very large incision across the top of her head just in front of her ears as well as swelling and brusing on her face. Becasue of this, and the amount of work that she will be asked to do in order to transition out of the hospital in the next 4 or 5 days, she is not feeling up to visitors. I would ask that everyone respect her wishes and she or I will get the word out as that changes.

We don't know yet where she will be going when she leaves the hospital but we do know that she has a long road of rehab ahead of her. Hawaii is still our goal, though our trip has been rescheduled from October until the following April. A fitting month, I must say.

Grateful and Elated

April came through surgery with flying colors. The docs said we could not have hoped for a better scenario. They were able to remove everything and there was no brain involvement. Surgery took only 4 hours instead of the anticipated 8. She is able to communicate clearly and is now resting comfortably.

It just does not get any better than this!

Amen and Alleluia

"This is the best case scenario.", said the docs. Music to my ears. Just minuets ago I got the best news I could have gotten. Everything that might have been there has been removed. If there was any tumor left it is most likely now gone. We could not have asked for a better outcome. I am overjoyed. My girl went through only four hours of surgery instead of the 6 to 8 first predicted. No involvement in the brain! This could not be any better. I am so grateful. I cannot think of any more words.....

Thank you God! Thank you to all those people on all those prayer lists who don't even know us! Thank you to the best family and friends that anyone could ever ask for!

HOPE is alive and well...and so is my girl!